5 Things You Should Say to Your Daughter

We’ve read some great posts over the last year of things you should to your daughter instead of simply complimenting her on things related to her looks. Truly it is up to us to make sure our daughters grow up knowing that they are worth more than just what they look like on the outside. So much more.

I couldn’t help but reflecting on the things that I say to my daughter that make her face light up like fireworks on the fourth of July and share them with you.

  1. I LOVE Hanging Out With You – Any child likes to hear this from their parent as often as possible, but this one single compliment encompasses so many wonderful things that have nothing to do with how they look on the outside. This tells them you think they’re interesting, funny, entertaining, kind, and so much more.
  2. You are SO creative – My daughter holds her drawing and story writing skills in very high regard. And she completely gets that being “creative” is one of the best things a person can be. So I know when I choose that particular word it gives her a real boost of inspiration.
  3. You are such a hard worker – This can be used for anything your child is working on in school or at home. My kids know how much we appreciate hard work, so they know how much we love to see them working hard at a picture, homework, or chores. I can see the huge surge of pride in my daughter’s face when I say this to her.
  4. What do YOU want to do? – This may seem obvious, but nothing gets my SheHero more excited then when I come out of the kitchen and ask her to pick something to do. A craft, a book, a game, whatever. We should all make a habit of doing this more often, especially as we find ourselves immersed in summer vacation. Letting them choose activities shows them that you value what they like, what they do and who they are.
  5. I’m so happy you’re you – You can never tell your SheHero (or Hero) that you love them for just being them enough times a day. By loving them for who they are and reminding them that we do, we are planting the seed to help them love themselves for who they are, as they grow older.

What are some of the things you say to your child to boost their confidence, make them feel good, or just let them know you love them?

Disclosure Message: While the aim of this post is focused on the young SheHeroes in our lives, don’t forget our wonderful and amazing boys need to hear these things too!


7 thoughts on “5 Things You Should Say to Your Daughter

  1. My daughter is very into fashion at age 6. She started picking out her own clothes around 2, with sometimes hilarious results. I like to congratulate her when she’s chosen something particularly daring by telling her that I’m so glad she has her own personal style, or that she’s done a great job matching colors. It’s my way of telling her how nice she looks by focusing on the thinking and planning she put into making herself feel good.

  2. I do like empowering kids yet I see plenty of entitlement challenges in children too. Tell them “you are special, and so are others”. Better to raise a society than to put a few on the pedestal. Of course we all need role models, but when there’s no spotlight, we should learn to be happy too.

  3. Thank you for this article. I love the idea you had to let them choose the activity and saying number 5 to my daughter this morning quickly lifted her morning mood! I’d love to read more about where to begin with adolescents who don’t have a large amount of self-esteem. I am sure there are other parents out there like me, who because of working a lot, have seen ny daughter fall behind in school. Subsequently, her self-esteem as well as motivation to do well are suffering. I’d love to read positive ways to begin rebuilding her confidence and motivation.

  4. Alana, Thank you for you message. We always like to hear when something we post resonates. While we don’t have an article right now, I can steer you towards the 5 Cs of Youth Development: http://educationnorthwest.org/sites/default/files/resources/factsheet13.pdf The basic principals rest on the fact that teens are not seen as problems that need to be fixed, but rather assets that need to be developed. You can apply these principals in the home if you are creative. Service to the community is crucial for bonding and self-esteem. I suggest volunteering a day somewhere with your child. Clean up a beach or park. Volunteer to feed the homeless at a shelter. Volunteer at a pet shelter. Help plant trees. There are countless non-profits that need volunteers. If you do this with your child on a regular basis and share in this together it is a great way to bond, develop skills that build confidence, and provide an opportunity for your child to contribute to something greater than themselves.

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